Gwenbu Kaiden
by Insert Something Creative Here
Summary: Gwen Sheppard is obsessed with Genbu Kaiden and she knows it. But one night, she lives out the ultimate Genbu-lover's fantasy... Gwen, like Takiko, becomes a character in the story! warning: a few spoilers! UPDATED CHAPTERS 8 and 9 are FINALLY UP! Go read
1. I wake up in an alternate reality

Chapter 1

"In a minute, Mom!"

I yelled down from my bedroom,

"Just another minute!"

I was in the middle of reading _Fushigi Yugi: Genbu Kaiden_ volume four for the umpteenth time, right at the part where Tomite and Rimudo are arguing. I had read this book so many times that I'd memorized it.

"You can't even decide what gender you are!"

"Say what? You wanna do this?"

I recited the words without even reading them on the page. By now, every word said by every character in all five volumes was forever imprinted in my mind. _Obsess much, Gwen_? I chuckled to myself. _Ah well, at least I'm not self-denying it_, I thought.

I had always felt connected to books. I just loved them, ever since I first picked one up and read it for myself at age four. Now that I was thirteen, I read tougher stuff, but Genbu Kaiden stood apart from any series I'd ever read-- it was my first-ever manga, the story a friend had recommended in the sixth grade. I had read loads of mangas since then, but Genbu Kaiden was still my favorite, and probably always will be.

I think it wasn't so much books that I loved, it was the _stories._ It appealed to me that I could use my imagination and make up something beautiful, that others would appreciate and praise me for. I had become addicted to stories at an early age. I read them, wrote them, won prizes for them. My teachers were thrilled with me, and so were my parents. I read, wrote, or drew pictures every spare second that I could.

But by fourth grade, I began to realize that I wasn't just your average book nerd. When I was in the middle of a good book, I'd walk around in a daze, hardly acknowledging anything but the story. I would be there with the characters, scared or happy or sad depending on what was happening. During school, I'd sit in the corner behind the bookshelf and read through entire lessons, often waking up from my book-daze to find the lights off and the room deserted. My friends told me I could've read through a hurricane, a stampede and a heavy metal concert if my book were good enough, and I had to admit they were right.

"GWEN! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? GET DOWN HERE AND WATCH YOUR LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER!"

My mother jolted me out of my reverie. Sighing, I marked my place in the book and trudged downstairs.

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Later that evening, I lay in bed on my stomach, reading in my pajamas. This time it was volume five of _Genbu Kaiden._ I was at the part when the Genbu seishi were drinking from the sacred spring when my eyelids began to grow heavy. _Aw man! _I thought, _not now! I want to finish reading!_ It was then that I drifted into oblivion.

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"Um, hello? Are you okay?"

Someone was gently shaking my shoulders. And I was freezing cold.

"Um, are you from here? That is, Hokkan?"

_Hokkan??!!_ I jolted awake, then sat up quickly. Leaning over me was a silver-haired girl of about fifteen with a concerned look in her grayish eyes. She looked familiar, as if I'd seen her somewhere before. And she'd mentioned Hokkan. With a gasp, I realized who she was. It couldn't be! I rubbed my eyes and shook my head, then looked back at the girl. My hand went to my shoulder, the spot where she'd been touching me a few seconds ago. I pinched myself. Yes, I was awake. This was no dream. _This can't be happening!_ I thought, _am I where I think I am?_

Just then a shout startled both the girl and me.

"Aira! There you are! We've been looking all over for you!"

A group of people came dashing around the corner of a building, and for the first time I took in my surroundings. I appeared to be in front of an abandoned building on the edge of what I could only assume was a small town. It looked like nothing I'd ever seen before. No… it looked like Hokkan.

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(Sorry about the cliffhanger ending!)


	2. I annoy the crap out of everyone

Hi! Thanks for reading this. I'll probably update again soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own FY or FYGK. (I wish!)

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Chapter 2

"Hokkan." I whispered to myself, hardly believing it, "I'm in Hokkan."

"Aira, are you okay? And who's that?" Said a tall young man with a patch over one eye whose silver hair looked exactly like the girl's.

"Onii-chan! I'm fine! Sorry! I didn't mean to wander off. And I don't know who she is, I just found her here, asleep." Said the girl, who I was absolutely sure had to be Aira.

Just then a black-haired girl wearing a hakama got down on her knees next to Aira and peered curiously at me.

"Who are you?" she asked.

My eyes tripled in size. I couldn't believe it! Was this really happening?

"Your Eminence?" I stammered, "Ta…Takiko?"

By now I'd realized that these were the real, actual Genbu seishi here, so I wasn't too surprised when Tomite, who'd been hanging back a bit, jumped forward, his celestial power suspended above his palm the way it had been at the Augur's temple in volume three.

"Who the heck are you and how do you know Takiko's name?" He demanded of me.

Well, I couldn't exactly respond the way the Augur had. Tomite probably wasn't going to fall for the "blood must not be shed here for any reason" excuse. So without thinking, I blurted:

"Keep your hair on, Tomite. Do I look capable of hurting you?" This was followed by an indignant snort.

Of course, my mentioning Tomite's name only made things worse. _Smooth Gwen, _I silently reprimanded myself,_ Reeeeal smooth._ Great. Now Tomite _and_ Uruki were on my case.

"He asked you a question." Uruki snarled.

Gee, these guys sure were protective of their miko. I sighed and decided to tell the truth, no matter how insane I sounded.

"Well. Um." I said nervously, "My name's Gwen. Gwen Sheppard. I come from Takiko's world. Sorta. Except… a different country. And about eighty years into the future. In my world, Takiko's world is a book, and yours is… er… a book within that book."

Takiko, Aira, Tomite, Uruki, Hikitsu, Soren, Namame and Hatsui stared at me and said nothing. Of course, that was only to be expected of Namame, him being a rock and all, but it was sort of eerie that none of the others had spoken.

Finally, Takiko broke the silence. "What country do you come from?" She asked skeptically.

_Ah. I see. She's testing me._ I thought.

"America, actually. It's gotten pretty big. Um… If you need more proof… I sort of memorized the… _your_ books. I can tell you stuff you guys said."

_And stuff you will say._ I added mentally, realizing that I must be somewhere in the beginning of volume five. Takiko's face had paled a little at the mention of America, so I could tell I was convincing her. Uruki, however, wasn't buying it.

"Okay." He said skeptically, "let's hear it."

I could tell he obviously wasn't expecting me to come up with anything plausible. Boy was I gonna blow his mind. _Where to start, where to start?_ I mused, _Aha! Volume one, of course! I'll go in chronological order of my favorite Genbu quotes! This is gonna be so cool! _Since he had been so rude earlier, I decided to start with Rimudo/Uruki. I walked over to him and said confidently:

" 'I'm not usually one to help people, but watching a girl get killed and eaten would leave a bad aftertaste.' Sound familiar?" I raised one eyebrow and continued. " 'You're pretty forward.'"

Then I cracked up as I remembered that scene from volume one. I glanced at Takiko, who'd gone a bright shade of red. Apparently she remembered too.

Next I strode over to Tomite.

"'Your head will get me a thousand tael!' Hmm, what else do you say? Oh I know! When you attacked Takiko and your mom threw a stick at you, you were like 'Who did that?' and your mom was like 'I did!' and then you were like '_Mom_!' Man I love that part. Your mom is like, awesome."

So I continued reciting my favorite lines, occasionally interjecting something like:

"I hate it when Anrou-sama dies. Darn that Shigi!" or

"It's so cool that you like, talk to wolves Hikitsu! Can you teach me how?"

By the time I reached the end of volume four, they were convinced. My dramatic portrayal of Uruki's "TAKIKOOOOOOO!" was even greeted by around of applause. From everyone except Uruki, that is.

"But how do you know every single thing we said?" Rimudo/Uruki said cynically.

I grinned sheepishly. "About that. Um. I was… sort of obsessed. No, _really _obsessed. With your books. They're called 'Fushigi Yuugi Genbu Kaiden.' I've read them all so many times I know them by heart." I admitted.

Takiko exchanged a quick glance with Uruki. "You memorized… _everything?_" She asked nervously.

I leered at Takiko and Rimudo. "Uh-huh. _E-ve-ry-thing!_ And it's manga, so there are pictures too." I sang obnoxiously.

Tomite and the other seishi looked confused. Takiko and Rimudo looked extremely nervous. I was laughing my head off. Soren, however, seemed to realize what was going on.

Finally, my laughter subsided.

"So." I said, "I guess I'm stuck in this book for a while. Although, if I coulda picked a book to be stuck in, you can bet it would've been this one. I still can't beleeeeeeeiiiiive it!" I squealed happily. "Only… where will I go?" I wondered aloud dismally, "I really want to go with you guys. I could be a huge help. As in, I know a lot of stuff that could help _or embarrass_ you. But I won't tell the helpful stuff unless you let me go with you. And I _don't_ mean staying in the village with Borate-san and Aira. I mean _traveling_ with you people."

Takiko and Rimudo gulped. They knew exactly what I meant by _embarrass._ And who would end up being embarrassed if I told.


	3. I ride a dragon

Ok. So I'm liiiiiike… updating. Enjoy and please review!

SPOILER WARNING

TakikoxRimudo fans: Sorry I make fun of them so mercilessly. They're just… fun to make fun of. Sweat drop

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Chapter 3

While the Genbu seishi discussed whether or not to let me come with them, I contemplated the situation. _Okay. So I'm like, in a book. My favorite series. And all the characters are alive and real. I guess that means Shigi and Hien are still around too. And Bobo. Even Gasman. Yikes, I wonder if I could actually die here? Better not test that one out. _(Bobo was a nickname my friends always used for Bo Hui/Hakei. Hagasuu was Gasman.) I finally tuned in on the seishi's conversation as Tomite was saying:

"I say we ditch the kid. She knows everything about us. It's so creepy! And what's more, she's obnoxious."

"We should keep her. But only as a companion for Hatsui and Namame." Said Rimudo, aware that I was listening.

"UURRRGHH! YOU _GUYS_! I'm standing RIGHT HERE and you're talking about me as if I'm some kind of dog!" I interjected angrily.

"And you should totally let me come with you." I added, giving them my best puppy eyes. "Besides, I'm only a helpless 13-year-old. I'm not like, powerful like you guys. If you leave me alone I'll probably be killed or eaten by some kind of dragon or demon. After all, where would Takiko be if you hadn't saved her from those demons in volume 1, Rimudo? So pleeeeease? Pleeease? You're not gonna abandon me, are you? Because I'm like, your biggest fan!"

"OKAAAAYYYY, FINE YOU CAN STAY! JUST QUIT RUNNING YOUR MOUTH EVERY SECOND!" Roared Tomite.

But I was happy for the moment.

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A few hours later, I got my first dragon ride.

"Where are we going?" I asked Takiko.

"Tomite's village. So Aira-san can rest." She answered.

"Oh yeah. That's where you go in the book. And then you…" I trailed off, realizing I probably shouldn't mention it in front of everyone. Or anyone, for that matter.

Takiko looked at me, puzzled, but I revealed nothing. _Interesting, _I mused, _it never says anything about them stopping at the village where they found me in the book. It just skips to Shigi and Hien. And king Temudan. _I shuddered. Shigi and Hien where probably at the palace in Tewulan at that exact moment. _Oh well, at least it means they aren't attacking us_.

I climbed up on Teng She's scaly back and sat down across from Hatsui, holding on to one of the earth dragon's big fins.

"Can I hold Namame?" I whined, "Pleeeease? He's my favorite seishi."

Takiko passed the little rock to me. "Man, he's even cuter in person." I said to myself as I set the little guy on my shoulder. He grabbed a lock of auburn hair and hung on.

"Which one of us is your second favorite?" Wondered Hatsui.

"You, actually. Anrou-sama too." My face fell a bit when I said that. I hated it when Anrou died in the book. "And Aira-san is pretty cool." I added.

At the mention of Aira, Tomite and Aira looked over. They were across from each other holding on to the next fin.

"What?" I scolded, "I'm telling him my favorite characters!"

Tomite cocked his head. "Am I one of them?" He asked.

"No. But my friend Cai is completely obsessed with you."

Tomite preened. I rolled my eyes. Now all of them were listening.

"Let's see… I have a friend who's obsessed with Hikitsu… I know a lotta Genbu fans… hmmm… I know someone who's obsessed with Rimudo… My sister likes Soren…And I'm a Hatsui and Namame fan!" I announced. "Sorry, Takiko, I don't know any of your fans. Although my friends and I agree you're by far the best of the priestesses."

Takiko blushed happily. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah, really. The others… well Suzuno's story isn't out yet, so we can't be sure about her, but you are definitely better than Miaka and Yui. Of course, it's all a matter of opinion…"

Takiko frowned. "Suzuno Oosugi?"

"Uh-huh. She's the priestess of Byakko. But she comes second. Long after you're…" I caught myself in the nick of time. I couldn't tell Takiko she died in the end, and I didn't want it to happen myself. Plus Rimudo would probably flip out if he ever found out.

"Long after Takiko's what?" Asked Rimudo skeptically.

_Uh oh. _I thought, _Time for a subject change. _"Oh, nothing. So. Is Teng She ever gonna go anywhere?"

"Oh, right. C'mon, Teng She. We're going to Tomite's village now. And, uh, Gwen? Hang on." Takiko cautioned.

A few moments later I was grateful for the advice. Teng She was off like a shot, going from ten feet in the air to above the clouds in only minutes. I hung on to his fin for dear life during the ascent. Fortunately, Teng She slowed down and flew horizontally once we were high enough. I actually began to enjoy the flight, being the height-loving weirdo that I am. On a whim, I carefully stood up and let go of Teng She's fin.

"No hands!" I shouted giddily as the wind blew my hair out of my face.

"Sit down! Do you have a death wish or something?" Tomite yelled.

I rolled my eyes and obeyed.

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Sorry it took so long to update, and sorry to any offended Miaka and Yui fans. I have nothing against Yui. Miaka, however… Kidding, kidding.

I'll try and post the next chapter soon!


	4. I teach Tomite about chatspeak

Okay. Updating again. Now that I'm done w/ my school play and my other play I should be able to write a lot more. Hope you like it! Also: Review, review, and review!

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"OMG. I can't _wait_ to meet your mom." I told Tomite excitedly.

Tomite raised an eyebrow. "Why, is she like the main character or something?"

"No, Takiko is, DUH. Your mom just like… pwns."

"What does 'pwns' mean?"

"It's chatspeak for 'owns.' It basically means someone is cool."

"What's chatspeak?"

"Shut up, you two. We're almost there." Takiko groaned.

We had been carrying on like that for almost two hours straight, and Takiko, I now realized, had reached the end of her rope. The seishi wanted to know all about my world, and I gladly told them everything. Back in my world, I was just some lanky kid with brown hair and brown eyes, average in every way. In other words, no one spared me a second glance. I wasn't used to being the center of attention, and so far I loved it.

Anyway, Takiko was looking worn out (and fed up), which was only natural since she was about to get sick. _Hmm, I wonder if I should warn them about that? Nah, better wait a while. I might spoil that adorable Tomite x Aira scene._ I promised myself I would tell the seishi about Takiko's illness later. Unfortunately I'd forgotten that I almost never keep promises to myself, because I usually forget that I promised myself something (does that sentence make any sense?)

My thoughts were interrupted when Teng She suddenly lurched and fell. My stomach seemed to fly up into my mouth, and I was so startled I didn't even scream. Takiko and Aira did though.

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"Crap." I moaned weakly after Teng She landed none-too-smoothly, "They never show that in the book!"

I slid off the dragon's scaly back and slunk over to help Aira down, Hatsui following behind me and Namame still on my shoulder (how he'd managed to stay on during that landing was beyond me.) Tomite had already gone to get his mother, so the rest of us were going to have to wait in that godforsaken clearing. I, for one, was seeing stars after that jolting descent.

"We probably all have whiplash." I moaned.

"Shut up." Groaned Rimudo.

"But how are we supposed to summon a god if we all have whiplash?" I whined.

"First of all, I've had worse injuries than whiplash and look at me now, I'm participating in the god-summoning effort. Second of all, since when are 'we' summoning Genbu? You aren't a Celestial Warrior." Snapped Rimudo.

"Just for that, I'm not telling you who Urumiya is."

"You probably don't even know."

I actually did know, but I was going to bide my time telling the seishi who it was. Or should I say, who _they_ _were._ For now I satisfied myself with sticking out my tongue at Rimudo.

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Okay. Sorry it took me so long to update! Also sorry it's so short! Really mega-sorry! Sheesh, I need to stop apologizing so much. Remember to review!


	5. I predict the future

Aaaaannnd… I'm updating again! Finally! I'm sorry this is taking so long to write, but that's because I'm writing it from both ends. I've already finished writing the ending. XD

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Meeting Borate was fun. Takiko introduced us and explained that I was from another world and that I would be accompanying them to look for the remaining Celestial Warriors. "Great to meet you, Borate-San!" I said, shaking her hand enthusiastically. Borate gave me an appraising look. "How old are you, thirteen?" She asked.

"Um, yeah, actually." I muttered. Borate just raised an eyebrow.

Then we had the whole who's-going-down-to-the-village-and-who's-gonna-camp-out discussion. In the end, Takiko, Tomite, Aira, Hatsui, Namame, Hikitsu and I decided to accompany Borate down the mountain while Soren and Uruki remained behind with Teng She. In other words, everything happened exactly the way it did in the book, with one difference: me.

On the way down the mountain, Takiko, Tomite and I lagged behind the others. "Not to overstep you…" Said Tomite to Takiko, "But let me persuade Emuta…I mean Hikitsu." Takiko shot me a look that clearly said, "_Should I?"_ I nodded.

"Okay, Tomite." Takiko relented.Then we finally reached the village, which I immediately fell in love with.

"Wow! It's so cute! Just like a village in a book! Oh wait a sec it _is_ in a book. Whatever, I still love this place." I exclaimed as I gazed at our surroundings. Tomite beamed. Yeah, he's got some anger management issues, but the guy loves his village, I'll give him that much.

Borate gave me yet another appraising look. "You just found her? Just like that?" She asked for the umpteenth time.

"Yup! I don't know how I got here; all I remember was falling asleep. But I'm so glad Aira found me! This is gonna be so cool!"

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I was right; it was the most fun I'd had in years.

First everyone got new clothes as Aira wolfed down as much food as she could hold. I noticed Tomite kept glancing guiltily in her direction. "It's okay!" I whispered to him as I unfolded my tunic, "She doesn't blame you!" Tomite looked at me as if he'd just seen a ghost. "_What?_" I said in an annoyed tone. Tomite just shrugged. Apparently I'd guessed exactly what was on his mind.

A few minutes later I stepped into the tent with the others, fully decked out in my pale crimson tunic. Under it I wore a dark gray shirt with fairy tale sleeves and white leggings. A matching gray sash was cinched around my waist and I'd even gotten new boots.

"Ta-da!" I yelled, twirling around so they could all see me. Tomite rolled his eyes and Takiko chuckled. They were wearing the same outfits from the book, of course ("Love the flowers!" I told Takiko.) Then Takiko, Hatsui, Namame and I went out to enjoy the festival. "I'll catch up. There's something I've got to do." Tomite told us.

"Okay! Have funnnnn!" I sang, winking at him. He shot me a nervous, baffled look. I turned and skipped after the others. Presently Hatsui, Namame and I got separated from Takiko, as I knew we would. But I wanted to see what happened next. "Come on. Let's spy on them!" I said eagerly, tugging Hatsui into the crowd. We found a spot in the shadows where we could watch Rimudo and Takiko dance without being seen. "W-won't we get in trouble?" asked Hatsui nervously.

"You goody-goody." I answered, elbowing him in the ribs, "We won't get _caught_ or anything. Ooh, look they're leaving the circle! Let's go!" We followed Rimudo and Takiko, and then found a hiding place behind a bush a good 50 yards away where we could avoid being overheard. Unfortunately, this meant that we couldn't hear them either. But we were definitely watching when they kissed. "Awwwwwwww!" I sighed.

"Wow." Breathed Hatsui. Then Takiko slumped over. "Hey, what's wrong with Her Eminence?" He asked me.

"Oh, nothing bad, just a cold. Come on, let's get out of here before Rimudo finds us so we can warn Borate-san!" I whispered, jumping to my feet.

The two of us (plus Namame, who rode on my shoulder) raced back to Borate's home.

"Can you…make up a bed…on the floor?" I panted as we stumbled in the door. Borate didn't question us, instead opting to raise an eyebrow and comply. Only after Hatsui and I had helped her make a palette for Takiko did she ask us anything. "Why did we make this?" wondered Borate. "Oh, you'll see." I told her brightly, "Rimudo should be bringing an unconscious Takiko in here in fiiiiiiiive…foooooooouuuur…thrrr-eeeeeeee…twooooo…Aw, darn, I was off by a second!"

My countdown ended abruptly as, true to my prediction, Rimudo carried Takiko through the door (wedding-style, I might add!) He looked astonished to see that we were ready for them. "What…how?" He spluttered. I winked and laughed.

"I know all!" I announced, flashing him my most innocent smile.

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I was going to make this chapter longer, but I just HAD to update! Hope you like it! Also REVIEW OR I WILL SIC NAMAME ON YOU!!!!!


	6. Tomite and Aira get pwned

Yay

SO sorry I haven't updated this in ages! Really, I promise not to do that again.

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Days passed uneventfully while Takiko was sick. I got to know the seishi better and better (especially Namame, who I carried around with me everywhere), and even spent time with the dragon Teng She. He was such a friendly, docile dragon. His personality seemed more like a dog's than a dragon's—I could tell he wanted more attention. And I have a soft spot for animals. What can I say?

It was while I was watching Teng She, with his huge claws and fierce, dragony expression, that I had an important revelation. I decided that if I was going to accompany the seishi on their journey, I would have to be able to fight for myself so I wouldn't get in the way. I had to learn to use a weapon.

Archery was out—I knew I had horrible aim and besides, Tomite didn't strike me as the type of person who'd make a particularly good teacher. Takiko was too sick to teach me to fight with a naginata, and the thing looked so long I figured I'd probably take someone's eye out with it long before I could learn how to use it. I finally settled on a sword—if I could find one small enough so that I could lift it, I was pretty sure I could learn to sword fight. But who could teach me? Most of the seishi (with the exception of Tomite) relied on their powers to fight, and didn't have much use for a weapon. Only after mulling over this question for a good half hour did I remember Soren's sword fighting prowess. Excited, I ran to find him.

"Soren!"

He looked up. "Yes?"

"So. I was thinking. Could you teach me to fight? With a sword? 'Cause, you know, I think that'd be a useful skill here in Hokkan," I babbled, made nervous by his incomprehensible expression.

Soren thought about it for a long moment. I waited, rocking back and forth on my feet.

"All right then. Let's get started."

"N-now!?"

_Sheesh. I guess Soren is the jump-right-in type. _

My sword lessons with Soren were exhausting, but after two days I seemed to have made just a tiny bit of progress. I could tell Soren had experience teaching swordplay—perhaps he had taught Uruki the same thing when he was little. The one reason I disliked my sword lessons was the fact that whenever we sparred, Soren would beat me in only a few minutes. _How arrogant I am to expect anything different,_ I mused, _Soren's been sword fighting since he was a kid, and I only just started yesterday. It's amazing I've even lasted this l-_

"OW!" I yelled as the flat part of Soren's huge sword knocked me to the freezing cold ground yet again. I sighed, stood up and dusted myself off. "Looks like you win again." I grumbled.

"You're such a sore loser!" Laughed Aira, who had come to watch my latest defeat. "Yeah. _Literally_ sore," I replied, narrowing my eyes at Soren and rubbing my bruised right shoulder.

Tomite may have been Aira's only friend when the series began, but after only a few days, I was Aira's second friend. The girl was so shy that I was constantly talking for her, which started to annoy, like, _everyone_ after a while. Including _moi_.

On the fourth day after Takiko got sick, I asked Borate if we could go to the hot springs she and Takiko had visited in volume one.

"Aira needs to thaw out some more." I told Borate. Aira squeaked angrily and lunged at me.

A few hours later I climbed the rock-strewn slope to get to the hot springs, with Aira scrambling behind me and Borate leading the way.

The spring was a colorful version of what was illustrated in the book-- a bubbling pool of water surrounded by tall, snow-covered boulders. The trickling sound the water made and the steam rising up from the spring made this place feel like an oasis in the frozen wasteland that was Hokkan. I loved it.

"Wow." I exclaimed, looking around, "This is cool. I mean, the people on the road down there have no idea this place even exists!"

"Well, I have to go check on Her Eminence. I'll have Chamka come get you and show you the way home in an hour or so, so be ready." Borate announced. Then she turned and strode back down the path. "You girls have fun!" She called.

Aira got in first. I sat on a rock, looking nervously down at my colorful sword-fighting bruises and starting to reconsider the whole thing.

Aira laughed. "Come on in, the water's great!"

I sighed and dipped my toe in. "Whoa, it's really hot!"

"It's okay, you get used to it. Now stop being such a baby and get in!"

"Fine." I did get in, making sure to splash Aira as much as possible in the process. This lead to a splash fight, which lasted for a good fifteen minutes. After another half hour of relaxing my aching muscles in the piping hot water, I opted to get out.

"My foster father says if you stay in hot water too long, your heart can stop." I explained.

"Really?"

I shrugged, and then reached back to tie the sash of my tunic thing. I was now fully clothed (and freezing cold.) Aira was still submerged in the water, considerably more reluctant to get out even though the hour was almost up.

It was then that I got a diabolical idea.

"You know what? I think I'm going to check and see if Tomite…er, if Chamka's here yet. I'll be right back." I told Aira, and began picking my way down the rocky slope.

Boy, this was going to be fun.

A few minutes later, I met Tomite as he stood hesitantly by the side of the road, staring uncomfortably up at the boulders that hid the hot springs. I could tell he'd been contemplating spying on me and Aira, which made my plan even more likely to succeed.

"Hey, Tomite. Have you seen Aira?" I asked, "She left early. Claimed she knew the way back." _I am such an amazing liar. If lying were a career, I could totally go pro._

"Nope. Haven't seen her. Are you ready to go?" Said Tomite.

"Sorta. I was wondering if you'd help me get my other boot, though." I held out my bootless foot. "Aira threw it and it ended up stuck between two rocks, like, ten feet in the air." I showed how high with my hands so the lie would seem more convincing.

Tomite sighed. "Sure." He answered, starting up the hill. I stared after him, thankful that his back was turned because I was now unable to keep the expression of pure diabolical joy off my face. My plan was working so perfectly!

I retrieved my boot from the bush where I'd hidden it and listened carefully as Tomite stepped between the boulders. A few seconds later I was rewarded—there was a loud splash, a shrill scream (Aira's) and a startled shout (Tomite's.)

"Yesssss!" I hissed, punching the air. I then collapsed by the side of the path, first giggling and then eventually snorting with laughter. I was laughing so hard I somehow failed to notice Tomite stomping down the path towards me. He took one look at my paroxysms of laughter and froze me with his power.

It felt so weird, being frozen. I was cold and numb and I couldn't move at all, but I could see Tomite through the clear ice. My heartbeat was loud in my ears—I suddenly understood exactly how Takiko felt when she was frozen in volume four.

But the strange sensation of freezing didn't last long, because Aira came sliding down the slope, saw ice-cube me, and freaked. I didn't have to be able to hear her to figure out what she was telling Tomite. He grudgingly unfroze me.

"Well, that was cool." I told them. The three of us were silent for a few moments.

And then we were all laughing so hard that tears were streaming down our cheeks.

"Pun intended."

XXXXXX

Whew. That was a relatively long chapter. But at least it was a fun chapter, and diverged from the original plot a little. Please review! The more reviews, the faster this gets updated!


	7. Nobody saw that one coming

XXXXXX

The next night was the weirdest and perhaps most important night of my life.

It started out routinely—I went to bed on my floor-mat-thingy in the "girls' room" next to Aira, across the room from Takiko. As usual, Namame sat on my pillow. "See you in the morning, little guy," I told him as I buried under the covers, wishing for my comfortable bed back in my own world.

Until now, I'd been so preoccupied—learning to sword fight, hanging out with Aira , Tomite and Hatsui, trying to find out everything I could about the strange new world I appeared to be stuck in—that I hadn't had time to think about, much less miss, my home back in Delaware. Now that I thought about it, I really did miss my comfortable house with its electricity and running water. It was much easier to live in the safety of my little resort town, right on the beach, where the only dangers were occasional riptides and splinters from the boardwalk. It was the polar opposite of the frozen, barren Hokkan, where there were too many dangers to count and life was harder in general.

_How odd,_ I mused, _that all of the seishi and Takiko have such sad stories when I don't. _I supposed you could say my life so far had been sad, but I certainly didn't view it that way. My mother, Madeline Sheppard, had died shortly after I was born. No one knew who my father was, and my mother had no living relatives, so I had been placed in the foster care system. Ever since then my life had been perfectly happy. I lived in one of the richest countries in the world, I got good grades in school, and I had a loving foster family. I had never had to fight for my life or go hungry the way the others had.

As I thought about home and all of its comforts, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

White. Everything was white. I could feel the ground beneath me, but I couldn't tell where the ground stopped and the sky started—there was no horizon line, only white mist as far as I could see. I sat up. _Am I dreaming? _I wondered aloud, but I couldn't seem to hear myself. My voice was strange, different, as if it came directly from my mind and not from my throat.

_Ugh. Why is it that whenever I go to sleep something really weird happens?_ Suddenly I was startled by a loud, low chuckle. I jumped to my feet and whirled around, automatically positioning myself in a sword-fighting stance Soren had taught me, although I now realized I had no weapon. As I stared into the strange white mist, it curled around, reshaping itself. As it moved it seemed to solidify, becoming substantial, real. Right before my eyes it became a great, black tortoise, encircled by a writhing snake.

I recognized that tortoise.

_WTF? Genbu?_

Another booming chuckle echoed through the swirling mist.

_**Yes, child, it is I.**_

The voice seemed to come from all around me. It was deep, thunderous and powerful, and yet it was gentle at the same time.

_**Do you know why I have called you here?**_

_No. Is this even real?_

_**That depends on how you define reality.**_

_Gee, thanks. That was soooo incredibly helpful. _Even in this bizarre place, the sarcasm in my voice was unmistakable. Genbu ignored it.

_**Do you want to know the reason I brought you here, little one?**_

_Yeah. That'd be nice. And stop calling me 'little.' I'm thirteen._

He laughed again. Sheesh. This guy was really starting to get on my nerves.

_**I brought you here, **_the god continued, _**to accept your destiny.**_

_And what would that be?_

_**You, **_boomed the tortoise/snake, _**have been chosen.**_

_Chosen? Chosen for what?_

_**I'm sure you know the fate of my last oracle, Lady Anrou. Now that she is gone, I have selected another to take her place.**_

_Another oracle? But… you don't mean…me?_

_**That is exactly what I mean. You have been brought to the Universe of the Four Gods to become the new oracle. You will be more powerful than all of the Celestial Warriors combined, but do not let it go to your head, my child, for in the course of things, they are more important.**_

_Power? What power?_

_**You will have many powers. You must discover them yourself.**_

_What? But…I… _

I didn't know how to finish that sentence.

_**Ah. I must go. I leave Hokkan in the care of the priestess and the celestial warriors. You must do all you can to help them so that I can be summoned. There is great power within you.**_

_But I don't have any powers! How will I even know this was real?_

The tortoise seemed to smile.

_**You will know.**_

XXXXXXX

With a gasp, I sat bolt upright, dislodging Namame and startling Aira awake beside me.

"What is it?" Aira asked sleepily.

"Nothing. I just had the weirdest dream."

"What was it about?"

"Well, I was in this strange place with white mist, and Genbu was there. And he said…I was an oracle. He told me I'm Lady Anrou's replacement. It felt so real."

I turned to look at her, confused. When she saw me, Aira abruptly paled. She stared at me as if I were a ghost.

"What is it?"

"Y-your eyes!" Aira stammered, "They're glowing!"

Come to think of it, my eyes did feel weird. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on what. Then it dawned on me. I could see in the dark! Even though there was no electricity and not a single candle in the room, everything looked as clear as it did in the daylight. Awed, I reached for a mirror that was lying a few feet away and gazed into it.

My familiar reflection stared back at me. I was freckled, with auburn hair, a serious face and a straight nose. My hair was flat on one side from lying down. I looked almost normal except for my eyes. The irises were silver—not gray like Aira's, but pure, glowing silver. They lit up the room in front of me like a pair of light bulbs.

Suddenly scared, I squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them again, they were back to their normal dark brown, and I could no longer see anything. I felt blind.

"What just happened?" Whispered Aira, amazed.

"I…I think that dream was real."

I remembered what Genbu had said:

_**You will know.**_


	8. I steal a fake beard

XXXXX

It was the morning of our departure for Konan. Everyone but me was running around packing, preparing, or saying goodbye. I sat on a rock near the place I usually practiced sword fighting with Soren, with my knees drawn up to my chest and my chin resting on top of them. For the first time since entering the book, I felt completely alone. _Who am I kidding?_ I thought. _I'm a foreigner in a strange land, in a world that isn't supposed to exist, in a place where I definitely don't fit in_. "What am I doing here?" I asked the rocks.

"I was wondering the same thing," said a voice from behind me.

Startled, I jumped up and whirled around, preparing to fight whoever it was.

It was Soren, standing there with an amused expression on his face. I relaxed. "Good job," said Soren calmly, "you're a quick learner."

"Oh," I sighed, "Soren. What are you doing here?" Soren sat down on my rock.

"Looking for you." He answered, "I came to say goodbye." I frowned.

"Oh, that's right. You aren't coming with us. Darn. I wish I could practice fighting some more. I still suck at it."

Soren chuckled. Sheesh, usually he was annoyingly calm and expressionless no matter what happened. I wondered why he was in such a good mood. "Actually," he told me, "you're a very good fighter. Certainly better than Rimudo-sama was when he first started, although I advise you not to tell him that. For someone who just picked up a sword for the first time two weeks ago, you're quite talented. But then again, you had me as a teacher."

I blinked. That was the most Soren had said to me in the week or so that I had been his student. He was most definitely not the talkative type. It seemed today was an exception. "Thanks," I blushed, not sure of what to say. Soren ignored me and went on talking.

"You're a natural fighter," he continued, "but you don't have your own weapon. So I'd like you to have this. It belonged to Rimudo-sama, but it's much too small for him now." He held out a relatively small sword in a battered sheath.

I felt a grin spread across my face as I reached out to take the sword. My own weapon! At last, I could stop feeling completely weak and useless whenever I was with the seishi. I unsheathed Uruki's old sword and held it up. Its blade glinted in a ray of sunlight that had somehow broken through the trees. It was a very Hollywood-ish moment.

"Thank you so much, Soren!" I squealed. I waved the sword through the air a few times, testing it. It was perfect—exactly the right weight. Almost as if it had been made specifically for me.

I put the sword back in its sheath and hugged Soren, taking him completely by surprise. "You're the best!" I told him as I stepped away, "I can see why Uruki keeps you around."

"You're welcome." Replied Soren, who had obviously not been expecting that reaction.

XXXX

Saying goodbye to Aira, Soren and Borate really sucked. I tried not to think about them as Teng She ascended into the clouds. _This is how it should be,_ I told myself, _little old me, riding off on a dragon to help save Hokkan. With Namame on my shoulder of course._

Namame and I were now even more inseparable than before. It had gotten to the point where I didn't feel comfortable if the little rock seishi wasn't with me. His silent presence was somehow very reassuring. _I wonder if Namame feels the same way about me, _I mused. Just as the idle thought passed through my head, an image seemed to wash through my mind. It felt so real that I forgot I was on the back of a dragon.

I was standing on solid ground, looking down. Namame was at my feet, reaching up towards me the way he usually did when he wanted me to pick him up. The feeling that accompanied the strange vision was one of safety and happiness. Then, just as quickly as the strange image had appeared, it was gone. I was on Teng She's back, and the ground was wayyyyy far away. I definitely didn't feel safe. So where had the picture of Namame come from?

_I didn't imagine that!_ I puzzled, _How did it get into my head?!_ I twisted around to look at Namame, who was on my right shoulder. He gazed innocently back at me. A strange idea suddenly occurred to me. _Could this be some kind of oracle thing? _Hesitantly, I attempted to make my irises turn silver, a somewhat frivolous skill I had been trying to perfect since my strange dream about Genbu. With a gasp, I realized they had _already_ turned silver, at the exact second the picture of Namame had entered my head. I reached out cautiously in Namame's direction with my mind, feeling kind of ridiculous. _Namame? _I thought at him, _Did…did you just…talk to me?_

Nothing happened. _Must have been my imagina—_I started to tell myself, but abruptly another foreign image appeared in my brain. Once again, the picture showed Namame. But this time he was nodding his little stone head.

I yelped and nearly fell off the dragon. The others, who had no idea what had just gone on inside my head, stared at me in confusion, suspicion and wonderment (_my eyes must still be silver,_ I realized somewhere in the back of my mind.) "Holy _crow_!" I exclaimed. "What is it?" Asked Takiko, worried that something was wrong.

"_I can talk to Namame_! I was thinking about him and a picture appeared in my head and it was him and I actually _talked_ to him!" I exulted.

Everyone continued to stare at me. An image of Namame waving was suddenly displayed in my mind. "He says 'hi.'" I murmured incredulously. Right on cue, Namame waved at Takiko and Uruki. The skepticism disappeared from their faces as they beheld Namame. "You really can talk to him! That's wonderful, Gwen!" said Takiko. Uruki gave me a funny look, like he was re-evaluating me. "Maybe you really are the new oracle." suggested Tomite hesitantly.

Whether or not I was anything special had been the subject of much debating among the seishi. Uruki seemed determined to believe I was just some bizarre little kid who had entered their lives by pure chance, but the others weren't sure. Theirs was a culture that took dreams fairly seriously.

"Well this is pretty conclusive proof!" I said in my best "duh" tone of voice.

Just then the Shinzaho lit up, effectively ending that conversation.

"What is it this time?" Asked Uruki.

"Inami." Takiko and I said at the same time.

"It's nice to see that someone is finally making herself useful," said Tomite, rolling his eyes.

"Hey! I resent that comment!" I growled at him.

Meanwhile, the necklace had switched to displaying the character for Urumiya. _Because right now, Gasman is in the capital, _I realized. Uruki told Teng She to head in Inami's direction, just like he did in the book. I felt very omniscient as Teng She flew closer and closer to Konan.

The feeling of contentment abruptly disappeared when Teng She stopped flying in midair and plummeted. Wind whooshed past me, tangling my hair as we continued to fall toward Konan. I my scream caught in my throat—not that it would have been audible over the roaring of the wind. I was mostly concentrating on _not_ coughing up my guts and _not_ looking down at the rapidly approaching ground, so it was a big surprise to me when we crash-landed. And "crash-landed" is the understatement of the century.

Teng She hit the ground with a deafening THUNK, nearly dislodging his freaked-out passengers. The huge dragon skidded across a flat, dusty plain and collided with a stand of trees.

I did not envy the trees.

The weirdest thing was that we had all been silent for the whole time Teng She was falling and skidding and crashing. No screaming. Not even a "hold on." The second the yellow dragon dug his claws into the ground and came to a stop, all hell broke loose.

Tomite let loose a stream of curses. Hatsui began hyperventilating. The rest of us started asking if everyone else was okay. As soon as we had ascertained that we were all fine, I slid off the dragon's back.

"Holy freaking _shit_! What the hell was that?" I exclaimed as I landed somewhat un-gracefully. No one replied. I turned around slowly to see Takiko glaring at me. I recognized that expression. It was the Miko Glare of Doom.

"You shouldn't use words like that!" She admonished me. This was followed by a tirade about manners and how I should behave. The girl was worse than my foster mom. After the first ten seconds, I zoned out (zoning out is a special talent of mine.) For a minute I thought about my friends in Delaware, a few of whom used language much more colorful than mine. Then I tuned back in to what Takiko was saying. "…and people will respect you more!" she finished. "Oh please!" I replied, rolling my eyes, "Could you possibly be any more old-fashioned? In twenty-first century America, everyone cusses as much as they want. It's called freedom of speech!"

Takiko was unconvinced. "Well not here!" She growled, narrowing her eyes at me. I gulped. It seemed there was no possible way to win this particular argument.

XXXXXX

Before I knew it, the six of us were cantering through Konan on the back of a huge stone Namame-horse. All four guys were, of course, topless. Do I even need to mention that it was a very awkward ride?

It took quite a while to reach the clothes store. The seven of us ducked inside, trying to look inconspicuous. I'm sure we failed miserably at it.

I can't say I felt particularly comfortable in the cramped little store. Clothes were not my thing—I left the fashionista-ing to my best friend, Camilla Ruiz. Ninety percent of my wardrobe had been picked by Camilla. _Looks like I'll have to fend for myself this time._

Eventually I found something that looked comfortable enough. Tomite, who was looking over my shoulder, shook his head. "You can't wear that," he told me disapprovingly, sounding for all the world like one of those stereotypical gay fashion guys I often saw on TV. "Why not?" I replied snarkily, "Is it last season's weird tunic-ish dress-y thing?" The joke went right over Tomite's head.

"It's meant for a boy," he told me. I frowned, trying to think ahead to what I would be doing in Konan. _Definitely not dressing up as a prostitute,_ I assured myself, _so how am I going to get into the brothel?_ How had Tomite done it again?_ Of course! He got himself hired as a houseboy! Problem solved_. "I think it might be more convenient if I disguised myself as a boy for the time being," I suggested. Tomite raised an eyebrow and appraised me. "Well," he replied, looking pointedly at my relatively flat chest, "you could certainly pass yourself off as one."

"Oh you did _not_ just go there! You are _soooo_ going to regret that!" I shrieked.

XXXXXX

As soon as Tomite's various bruises and scratches had been patched up and the two of us had been lectured by Takiko, we set off for the city (A/N: In case you somehow didn't get that, Gwen beat Tomite up.) The city of Eiyou was the polar opposite of Hokkan— it was full of happy, prosperous people and elaborate architecture. The general atmosphere was lighthearted and upbeat. That is, until we reached the red-light district. Then the atmosphere became just…ew. I can't really put into words the aura of sleaziness that seemed to emanate from everything. I noticed it first, but then again I was the only one who knew where we were at this point.

"Wow! Everything is going much smoother this time!" Exclaimed Tomite. I cocked an eyebrow. "_Too easy_, as they say in cliché movies," I said skeptically. Uruki was catching on to the uncomfortable vibe the place gave off. "No… wait a minute..." he muttered, "these people look… a little dubious." Just then a sleazeball guy smoking a pipe passed by us. "Hey!" he called, "What are you kids doing in the red light district?"

Cue everyone freaking out.

"This can't be! You mean this is one of those places where you can _buy_ women?" Gasped Tomite, who had turned a bright shade of pink. "Get your mind out of the gutter!" I chided, kicking Tomite in the shin at the same time Hikitsu hit him on the head. "Takiko! Is this really the place?" Asked Uruki. Takiko (who was even pinker than Tomite) consulted the necklace. "Y-yes!" she stuttered, "This is the right building!" Uruki was thoughtful. "So does this mean the seishi is female?" he wondered aloud.

"And also a harlot." Hikitsu added.

"Couldn't it be a customer?"

"I don't think the type of person who buys women would be a seishi."

"Well, we won't find out unless we get in there somehow," stated Uruki.

"Then can I have some money?" asked Tomite. Takiko Miko-Glare-of-Doomed him and whacked him on the head with her naginata. I opted for stomping on his foot.

Tomite was certainly taking a lot of abuse today. I was in the middle of laughing at his pain when Takiko had her brilliant idea.

"I've got it!" She exclaimed, "I'll infiltrate the brothel!"

Tomite was flabbergasted. "_You're_ going to be a prostitute?" He asked incredulously. Takiko was very matter-of-fact. "It's the only way to get inside," she reasoned. I snickered. "Well, she already has some prospective customers," I quipped, jerking my head diagonally backwards at Uruki.

"No way!" Uruki shouted, practically blowing out my eardrums, "Absolutely not!"

Takiko was surprised. "Uruki?"

"_I'll_ do it! Tomite, get a disguise!" Commanded the over-protective, gender-changing love struck idiot.

Tomite did his best impression of a flirty girl. "You want me to cross-dress?" he asked.

Uruki was most definitely not amused. "_No_!" he roared, "You're going to be my pimp!"

"So how exactly is he supposed to disguise himself as a pimp?" I asked when things had calmed down a little.

Uruki gave me a calculating look. "Are you willing to help?" he asked. I nodded warily.

And that is how I found myself trying to steal a fake beard.

XXXXXX

Whew! Done! This was a reeeeeeallly long chapter (like 2,500 words! I'm so proud of myself XD) I think I'll try and make my chapters even longer in the future, because they're so spaced out (sorry about that.) I had to paraphrase most of the dialogue because _a certain someone_ has had my copy of volume five for like two years.

Well, in any case, I liked this chapter. Gwen's snarkiness is really fun to write!

(o_0) Now review! Please? Pretty please? Seriously, how can you resist this face? (o_0)


	9. This is definitely not my chosen career

Hehe! I'm posting chapter nine only a few days after eight! Yay me!!!

XXXXX

Beard theft is not your typical crime.

The problem with the specific fake beard I was trying to steal was that some guy was actually wearing it. This was my biggest obstacle, or I could have stolen it easily. Thievery is another skill of mine.

No, seriously. I can't tell you how many times one of my friends has looked across the cafeteria and then turned around to find half of their lunch missing. And if you have a book I want to read, watch out.

But I had no experience with fake beard theft.

I was crouched behind a sort of market stall, eyeing a black-haired, middle-aged guy with a shaggy beard. Tomite had noticed that it was fake when the guy kept scratching at his chin. So now I was analyzing the target, trying to come up with a strategy that would allow me to steal his beard. I felt very secret-agent-y. So much that I started humming the _Mission: Impossible_ theme song to get myself into a stealing mood.

"dum, dum, da-dum, dum, dum, da-dum, dum---"

"What are you _doing_?" hissed Tomite, who was crouched next to me.

"It's the _Mission: Impossible_ song," I hissed back, as if that explained everything. Just then the bearded guy we were watching stood up from his chair at another stall and began to make his way down the street. "Target is moving east! Repeat, target is headed east at three o'clock toward the large red shrine-type thing. Commence phase two of Operation: Beard Theft! All agents move in! Roger! Ten-four!" I stage-whispered into an imaginary walkie-talkie. Tomite looked at me like I was crazy (which I guess I sort of was.) I rolled my eyes at him. "Go into the middle of the market place and create a distraction!" I commanded. Tomite was confused.

"What am I supposed to do?" He asked. I gritted my teeth.

"I don't know! Just do something to preoccupy Fake Beard Guy!" And with that, I took off running in the opposite direction, shoving people aside as I dashed around the block toward my chosen hiding place: a conveniently located alley that would put me just where I needed to be to jump out and steal Fake Beard Guy's fake beard. With any luck, I would somehow manage to snitch it right off his face without him even noticing.

Everything was up to Tomite now. "This distraction had better be freaking amazing," I muttered, peering around the corner. Tomite was now directly across from Fake Beard Guy, about twenty feet away from where I hid. The only thing between Tomite and the target was a huge, fat lady. Seriously. She was the fattest lady I had ever seen—and I lived in a country full of obese people. Whoever this whale/woman was, she was about four or five times the size of a normal person.

Tomite looked frantically around, trying to come up with an idea. I glared at him. We had literally seconds before Fake Beard Guy was out of range and we lost track of him. "If you screw this up, then so help me I will _kill_ you, Tomite!" I snarled even though I knew he couldn't hear me from this distance. Tomite saw my expression and suddenly seemed to find a solution.

He got down on one knee and shouted at the fat lady, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?!!!?"

I had no time to laugh at this, though doubtless I would crack up later. But at that moment, I sprang into action. As soon as Tomite had proposed to Whale Woman, Fake Beard Guy had whirled around, shocked, to watch the drama unfold. Perfect. His back was to me as I scampered across the street, blending in with the crowd that had gathered around Tomite and Whale Woman. This was my only chance.

"Wh-what?" stuttered Whale Woman.

"UM, I LOVE YOU!" yelled Tomite.

I crept up behind Fake Beard Guy and began nimbly untying the beard that was fastened to his ears. Within seconds, his right ear was free.

"But I don't know you!" protested Whale Woman, who was becoming very flustered.

Tomite seemed to be running out of things to say. "WE BELONG TOGETHER!" he shouted.

I almost lost it right then, but I had a fake beard to finish stealing. I tugged the last knot on Fake Beard Guy's left ear loose, then snaked my arm over his shoulder, being careful not to brush up against him. I caught the tip of the fake beard deftly and withdrew my hand as fast as I could. I had only a few short moments before Fake Beard Guy realized his facial hair was gone and turned around, so I wheeled and bolted for the alleyway before he could catch me. Meanwhile, Tomite had darted around Whale Woman and was running away from her as fast as he could, which was pretty darn fast.

"Wait!" Whale Woman called after him.

"IT WOULD NEVER HAVE WORKED OUT BETWEEN US! SORRY!" He yelled over his shoulder. Then he tripped and did a face plant into a basket of tomatoes.

I allowed myself to crack up.

XXXXXXXX

It was half an hour later that Tomite and Uruki prepared to go undercover. Tomite looked every inch the pimp in his stolen beard and extra padding (the rest of us had stuffed our Hokkan clothes into the front of his shirt.)

"You guys go stay at an inn somewhere near here," Uruki told us, "as soon as I find the seishi I'll sneak out."

Takiko looked torn. "Uruki!" She said. I tugged on her sleeve.

"I know what you're about to do," I whispered. Takiko started to defend her decision, but I interrupted her. "I'm not going to stop you. Just give me the necklace first! In the book they take it away. I'll keep it safe until you get back out," I said.

"But how am I supposed to find Inami without the necklace?"

"You will! It's in the book! Besides, isn't it better if I hold on to it instead of some stranger?"

Takiko bit her lip and unfastened the necklace. I took it cautiously, secretly thrilled that I got to hold it for any amount of time. I stowed the necklace in my sash. "Now go!" I told Takiko, "Good luck! Have fun being a prostitute! Watch out for STDs!" I waved as she sprinted after Tomite and Uruki.

Hikitsu frowned at me. "Wait!" he said, perplexed, "Did you just send the Miko into the brothel? I thought we weren't going to let her in there!"

I shrugged. "I'm just following the book," I explained. _Well, except for taking the necklace for safekeeping. Crap! I hope that doesn't mess anything up!_

Hatsui, Hikitsu, Namame and I sat against a brick wall across from the brothel, waiting for Tomite to reemerge. I covered Hatsui's eyes as a degenerate scumbag and his busy companion passed by.

Just then Tomite strode quickly out of the brothel, ripping off his fake beard and yanking out the clothes stuffed into his shirt as he walked. "What the hell!" he yelled as soon as he saw me, "You just _let_ Takiko go in there? Are you insane?"

"Possibly," I replied calmly.

XXXXXXXX

The following morning I went to my first job interview.

When I pictured my first job, I sure as heck had not factored a brothel into the equation. Yet here I was, mopping the floor of one. I tried not to think about my surroundings. On the plus side, I now knew exactly what I most definitely did _not_ want to be when I grew up. The list went as follows:

_1) Prostitute_

_2) Houseboy_

_3) Beard Thief_

_4) Prostitute_

_5) Prostitute again._

Yep, I was definitely "just saying no."

Suddenly I heard Tomite's voice from somewhere down the hall. "Rise and shine, ladies!" he called, "Let's work hard today!" I jumped up and ran in the direction of his voice. Tomite was standing in the doorway of a huge room full of prostitutes (including Takiko and Uruki.) Uruki conked Tomite on the head. "What do you think you're doing here?" he scolded. Tomite rubbed his sore head, offended.

"I was worried about you guys, so I got myself hired as a houseboy," he explained, "I also brought Gwen and Hatsui."

"Hey, guys," I called, striding over to the others, "how goes the prostitution?" Hatsui entered the room behind me, carrying a basket of laundry and whistling. Uruki flipped out. "_You brought an innocent kid like Hatsui into a brothel?"_ he roared.

I put my hands on my hips. "Oh, so I'm _not_ innocent? I'm only a year older than Hatsui you know!" I griped.

"Relax, he doesn't know anything about this place," Tomite reassured Uruki and Takiko.

Takiko turned the Miko Glare of Doom on him. "Tomite," she said menacingly, "you don't seem particularly worried to me. More like you just wanted to be around lots of women, right?"

"O-of course not!" gulped Tomite. I shook my head at him. Just then our really obnoxious supervisor guy smacked Tomite on the back of the head (poor Tomite. His head is just so irresistibly smackable.) Obnoxious Supervisor Guy made Tomite get back to work. I slipped off my hat-like thing and shook out my somewhat long auburn hair so I could blend in with the prostitutes. I had no intention of cleaning any more floors, thank you very much.

Tomite turned back to Takiko and Uruki. "You two have a customer waiting," he leered at them, "You'd better do your job this time!" Uruki looked ready to kill someone. "_Both_ of us!?" he growled, incredulous. I surreptitiously followed Takiko and Uruki down the hallway to the room where I knew Hikitsu and Namame were waiting for us. "...are not allowed to kill them, Uruki," Takiko was saying when I caught up to them. The three of us entered the room to see Hikitsu sitting cross-legged with Namame in his lap, one palm raised. I saw a brief flash that must have been Namame's greeting in my head. "It's _YOU_!?" gasped Uruki, who had not caught up to the current situation. Takiko, Uruki and I sat down opposite Hikitsu so he could explain our plan. Namame immediately scurried across the room to sit with Takiko. I tried not to feel hurt by this (honestly, I am so dumb sometimes.)

Uruki evaluated my boys' clothing for the second time. "What?" I snapped at him, "At least I'm not dressed like a whore!"

Takiko gasped at my improper language. Uruki narrowed his eyes at me. "Quit calling me a—"

"Whore! Whore, whore, whore!" I shouted, sticking my tongue out at him.

"I said not to—"

"Whorewhorewhore! Whoooooorrrre!"

"Shut up!"

"Whore, whore, _wh—"_ I tried to say, but before I could finish my insult I was thumped on the head. I scowled at Uruki. "Well at least I'm not a gender-changing Freakazoid," I spat. The others ignored me.

"_So_," snarled Uruki, turning to glare at me. "What do you know about Inami?"

I bit my lip, unsure how much to reveal to them. "Well, um, you've already seen her. Her power is that she has freaky extendable super-hair and she-- "

"You mean _you knew who Inami was this whole time_? And you _let_ us go into this hellhole knowing _full well_ that Takiko would get _attacked_ by a customer when I wasn't around?" Uruki raged at me.

"Erm…well…yes… But when you put it that way—aw come on, Takiko, quit Miko-Glare-of-Doom-ing me!" I protested.

"_Why did you do that_?" Uruki growled. I stared coolly back at him, trying to ignore Takiko's burning glare. "Because it was funny," I replied casually. Uruki turned purple. I sighed. This was not going to be a fun conversation.

When Uruki had finished his tirade, we actually got down to business and discussed what to do next. Of course, everyone consulted me first (somewhat reluctantly on Uruki's part.)

"Well… In the book, the Shinzaho is taken away," I mused, removing the necklace from my sash and returning it to Takiko as I spoke, "and you have to sneak upstairs to steal it back from the okami's room. That's when you find Inami."

Uruki nodded. "Okay then," he suggested, "let's go." I shook my head.

"Not until early tomorrow morning," I instructed, "and we need Tomite and Hatsui with us."

XXXXXXX

Early the next morning, the seven of us were sneaking down the upstairs hallway. And I say "sneaking" in the loosest sense of the word. "Attempting to sneak" is closer to the truth. In actuality we were thumping around like a rhino on crack. For example, at the exact moment I thought up the rhino-on-crack simile, Tomite stepped on my foot. "Ow! That was my foot!" I shout-whispered. I heard a muffled thud as Takiko bumped into Uruki's back.

"Sorry," Tomite whispered, annoyed.

"Where's the okami?" wondered Takiko.

Just then I felt a pair of eyes on my back. I swear, I felt them. I somehow just knew that someone was watching us. _It's just Inami, _I reminded myself, taking a deep breath. I turned around just in time to see the retreating shadow of a person and a ton of moving black hair. "Guys!" I squeaked, my voice an octave higher than usual. Namame's face was displayed in my mind, as were his puzzled feelings. The others turned around to see what it was that had freaked me out.

The hair reached us then. I knew it was only Inami, but it still scared me. I mean, come on people, it's not every day you get attacked by seemingly disembodied hair.

"What's that?" exclaimed Tomite as the hair writhed around him and Hikitsu. It passed them and started wrapping around my arms and neck. "Holy crap!" I shouted, struggling against the evil hair, "Someone reeeallly needs a haircut!" But the super-hair may as well have been an airline cable—no amount of force could snap it. A tendril that had curled around my neck separated itself and began to wrap around Takiko's arm.

"Hair?" said Takiko shrilly. No one was trying to be quiet anymore.

Just then Uruki used his wind to slice off the piece of hair that was attacking Takiko and me. The mass of writhing hair retreated down the hallway. I exchanged glances with Takiko, and then the two of us simultaneously turned and dashed after the hair. The super-hair was fast, but Takiko and I were hot on its heels. Not that it had actual heels. It was a huge thing of hair, so it didn't have heels, because that would have made zero sense. I meant the heels comment figuratively.

Okay, back to the running-after-the-hair thing. I just wanted to clear that up first.

So where was I? Oh yeah, we were running after the hair.

"Takiko!" Uruki called. Takiko did not slow down. We turned the corner and there was—the annoyingly peppy Ruude girl. Takiko grabbed her foot. "Wait!" she cried. Ruude looked like she was contemplating the idea of getting the hell out of there. "When Takiko tells you to wait," I explained, "you should wait. If you don't she'll hit you with something or knock you over. She did that to Uruki a few times." Speak of the devil, and he-she appears. Uruki had caught up to us. "Takiko!" He said like a complete idiot.

"Ruude?" said Takiko.

"Let go of me!" growled Ruude, shrugging her off, "I wasn't running away, anyway. I was just looking for you two."

"Wait… so before… it was…" Takiko was reaching the wrong conclusion—I had forgotten to tell the others that Ruude was _not_ Inami. I had only told them it was someone they had already seen. _Oops._ I tapped Takiko on the shoulder. "Takiko, she's not actually—"

"Okami-san told me to watch you two because you're new. You guys should really stop running around—" continued Ruude, interrupting me. Sheesh, the girl was living up to the English pronunciation of her name. Takiko interrupted her right back. "Are you Inami?" She asked Ruude.

I cleared my throat. "Takiko, she really isn't—"

"Isn't that right? You're one of the shichiseishi!" Takiko went on, ignoring me once again. I gritted my teeth.

Tomite was flabbergasted. "Then the seishi is a female this time?" he gasped.

"Yes, but Ruude's not—"

"Sorry I was fake," said the freakazoid dryly (A/N: in case you haven't gotten it yet, freakazoid is what Gwen calls Uruki.) Hikitsu muttered something unintelligible about powers.

"Shi..chi…seishi?" stuttered Ruude, who was obviously not aware of the legend.

"Takiko, would you please listen to—"

"That's right! I'm the Genbu no Miko! We came from Hokkan to take you away!"

"Really? Are you going to take me back to Hokkan?"

"AHEM! I really think you should hear what I have to say before you—"

"Yes! It's great that we finally found you!"

"EXCUSE ME, Takiko, but could you PLEASE—"

"Come! Leave this place with us!"

The chaotic conversation was interrupted by a fourth voice. "That's not possible." Everyone turned to see Inami—or, as the others thought of her, the lady that ran the brothel. I was mad. "Oh! So you ignore me but you stop and listen to _her_? I have important infor—" I protested.

"Ruude," continued Inami in a cynical voice, "even if they hadn't come, you would have run away, wouldn't you? I thought you'd been acting strange for the past few days."

"I'm begging you, Okami-san, let me return to Hokkan!" Ruude pleaded, "When I heard them talking about home…I just couldn't stop thinking about it! When I see them, it makes me miss my sisters and my mother…"

Inami was unconvinced. "What are you leaving for? How will you make money? Do you want to return to that life? Especially Touran's red light district. They pay a lot less than the customers here!"

"I know! Of course I'm glad that Okami-san brought us here…after we came to Konan, the money I sent back home increased, but…"

"If you leave, you can't come back! In such a poor country, how will you get by?"

Takiko joined the debate. "I'll change those circumstances!" she announced, positioning herself protectively in front of Ruude, "So please, let Ruude go!"

I tugged on her sleeve again. "No, no, Inami is actually—"

"_You'll_ change Hokkan?" said Inami skeptically, "How could a girl like you do _that_?"

"I'm the Priestess of Genbu!" Takiko yelled out, "And she is Inami of the shichiseishi!"

"No, she is n—"

"I'll summon Genbu and make Hokkan into a better country! But in order to do that, I need the seishi!"

"Yes, you do, but I'm trying to tell you that Inami is not—"

"Oh?" said the real Inami, "Well, then taking her would be useless. Since you insist on taking Inami away… then fight me first!" She whisked a COLOSSAL pipe through the air, swished it around threateningly, and leveled it right in front of Takiko and me.

"That's a huge pipe!" gasped Tomite unnecessarily.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I replied dryly, rolling my eyes at him.

"Takiko! Let me do it!" Uruki shouted.

"Oh, I say, Miko-sama. Weren't you so confident earlier?" jeered Inami, "In the end, you can't do anything for yourself."

That pissed Takiko (and me) off. "It's fine, Uruki! Stand back!" Takiko instructed.

_Fine. If they won't listen to me, then I'll just let them find out for themselves who Inami really is._ I snapped my fingers in the air. "Hatsui!" I called. Hatsui came running up like a dutiful puppy, Takiko's naginata in his arms. "M-miko-sama! H-here, take this!" he tossed the naginata to Takiko. This seemed to boost her confidence. "Hatsui! You brought my naginata!" she exclaimed. _Yes, he did, thanks to ME. Who you are so rudely ignoring!_

"Stand back everyone!" said Takiko as she prepared to fight Inami, "I'll play with her! Whoever's hands touch the ground first is the loser!"

And that's when things got interesting.

XXXXXX

Bleh. I don't really like that ending. Go back and read the beard-stealing passage again, I like that one much better 

So about two minutes after I posted chapter eight, I am Alice Cullen posted chapter 4 of _My Sanity is Now Completely Gone_. Normally, this would be a good thing, because I freakin love that story, but in this case it was a bad thing because _Gwenbu Kaiden was only at the top of the GK fanfic list for like two minutes! _

Me: GRRRRRRR!!! Must…write…another…chapter!!!!

So here's chapter nine. It is over three thousand five hundred words! Plus I posted two chapters without any reviews. I'm so proud of myself. Again.

HA! NOW I SHALL BE FIRST ON THE LIST!!! MWAHAHAHA!

Now that you're done reading this really long author's note, go read My Sanity is Now Completely Gone if you haven't already. It's good  Or you could always re-read mine (o_0)

But don't forget to review!


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